School:

A place where Papa Pays and Son Plays.

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Life Insurance:

A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

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Nurse:

A person who works up to give you sleeping pills.

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Love Affairs:

Something like the game of Cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test match.

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Marriage:

It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

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Divorce:

Future tense of Marriage.

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Tears:

The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

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Lecture:

An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

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Conference:

The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

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Compromise:

The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

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Dictionary:

A place where success comes before work.

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Conference Room:

A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

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Classic:

Books, which people praise, but do not read.

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Smile:

A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

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Office:

A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

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Yawn:

The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

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Etc.:

A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

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Committee:

Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

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Experience:

The name men give to their mistakes.

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Atom Bomb:

An invention to end all inventions.

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Philosopher:

A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

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Diplomat:

A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

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Opportunist:

A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

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Optimist:

A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

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Miser:

A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

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Father:

A banker provided by nature.

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Criminal:

A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

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Boss:

Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

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Politician:

One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

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Doctor:

A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

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